dearbretagne;

Why do I keep sinking? Why do I keep falling? I tell myself not to answer, but your face shows up on my phone, and I fall back into your eyes, your lies. I said yes this time, and I don’t know why.. My focus is blinded, and my vision is blurred. I know it’s not true, but I go for it anyways. Temporary bliss, they say. When everything else is fucked up in my life, why not add a little more?

Song flowing through my head: 
Title: I Knew You Were Trouble
Artist: Taylor Swift
Album: Red (Deluxe Edition)

I just hate this. Maybe I’m being selfish, but I want you to stay here, here with me, here as us. I feel cheated in time. I know I’ll see you in three months time, but it’s just not enough for me. I wanted to hold onto you forever. Can’t believe how attached I got in such short time, but I wish I could go for it again. Come back, please, love, ‘cause I can’t catch my breath.

Song flowing through my head: 
Title: Last Breath
Artist: Paradise Fears
Album: Yours Truly

I thought you were real, I thought you were true, and I thought you, out of all people, wouldn’t do this to me. With you, it seemed as if I was walking on air, as if I’d found ‘the one’, but now I wake up, face down on the ground, realizing that all of it is gone, all of it was fake, and all of it was lost. Today was my birthday, and you left me hanging. And of course, I’d get my hopes up, expecting you to knock on the door, and say, “Baby, I drove all this way,” but it was all for nothing, ‘cause I didn’t even get a call. Do you realize how much you hurt me? How much I stayed awake all day waiting for a hint of your voice reaching to me? I miss you, I miss us, do you miss me? Thing is, I know if you came through that door right now, I’d fall back in a second. Make an effort, please, before you loose me.

Song flowing through my head: 
Title: The Moment I Knew
Artist: Taylor Swift
Album: Red (Deluxe Edition)

Just a Script
Written by Me.

I can say that I’m done with you a million times over,
yet every moment without you, I can’t bear it sober.
It’s unbearable, breath-taking, an annoyance in my mind;
it’s unspeakable, untouchable, and there all the time.

Hearing nothing in your voice has wounded me once again,
thing is, I know there’s more, but I just can’t understand.
Five seconds ago, I said I was through.
But the truth is, all I want is you.

So I run, straight to you;
every moment without, it breaks me in two.
So I run, back to you;
‘cause I know that no one else will ever do.

Why can’t I release this feeling?
Each time I try, I always cease seeing.
The truth in your eyes has faded me back;
back to a reality that’s nothing but black.

You can say that you’re through a million times over,
but I know that you just can’t bear the truth when you’re sober.

Start of the Story
Written by Me.

The story starts when I first saw you.
Every step I took, led to the next right on queue.
Each move you made, it drew me so near.
Until the one shot I took, made you disappear.

Along the days that flew right by,
I passed all chances of making you mine.
Days, weeks, months, and years;
Instead of taking chances, I just built up fears.

Walls were crumbling,
I was stumbling,
Never knew if I could take that chance.
I learned in that very instant,
That life was my game,
I chose Russian Roulette.

Summer was winding down like before.
Each second that passed left me in bitter remorse.
That the very next minute I could spill all my words,
I could sail down the road on that treacherous course.

 I remember that moment,
where in a blank gaze.
My tongue was on fire,
you set it ablaze.
When the words that I thought,
whoa, I finally spoke.
I took that one shot,
and all my fear broke.


Before I could cherish that moment, it passed.
That bullet was blank, you’re a thing of the past.

I’ve got my finger on the trigger,
Yeah, I’m not looking back.
Life is my game,
I choose Russian Roulette.
I took a shot on you,
and then somehow: what a shame!
you shattered me in two,
you’re the one to blame.
(It ricocheted back to me, why don’t you take a bow.)

The ending of the story,
No, it’s not picturesque.
It ended like this:
‘twas nothing but a mess.

I sat there for a minute,
just to reminisce,
on that same, old story,
yeah, that one last kiss.

I’ve got my finger on the trigger,
Yeah, I’m not looking back.
Life is my game,
I choose Russian Roulette.
I took a shot on you,
and then somehow: what a shame!
you shattered me in two,
you’re the one to blame.

I felt everything slip through my fingers so fast,
The stories over now, you’re just a thing of the past.

I spent too much of my time thinking back upon you.
Well, now it’s all over.
Yeah, the story is through.

Sleep Good, Love
Written by: Me.

Dream of you, I’m thinking of you,
and getting lost in your eyes.
I see the sky, and hear your words,
wishing time would fly by.
Just one more day, just one more hour
‘til I’m there with you;
to see your face and hear your words say,
“I love you too.”

Sleep good, my love;
you know that I am yours tonight.
Sleep good, my darling;
you know we’re going to be alright.

And I can’t wait to look you in the eyes,
and tell you, “I love you.”
And I can’t wait to hear with my ears,
“I love you, too.”

I say a month, and you say a year,
I just wish we were together, my dear.
But with each day that passes and when it gets cold,
I know that I’ll always have you to hold.

Sleep good, my love;
you know that I am yours tonight.
Sleep good, my darling;
you know we’re going to be alright.

Not 10,000 miles, nor 10,000 weeks
could get in the way of me kissing your cheek.

Making a wish and closing my eyes,
hoping and praying tonight.
Dream of you and me being together,
and knowing it’ll be alright.

Maybe I shouldn’t have, maybe I should have kept the norm. I loved it then, loved your comfort, and loved the spark, but now it’s just barren, and I can’t even begin to think. I want to run to you, stay in your arms forever, but I find myself filling this void. Five is now my number, the number I’ve tried and played away. I want to tell the truth, I want them to know, but I’ve done a terrible thing.

Song flowing through my head: 
Title: In the End
Artist: Snow Patrol
Album: Fallen Empires

I want to run, run and start over; run to a place that has never been discovered. I’ve fucked up, messed up, wrecked everything I know. Now the only thing I can think to do is flee to a land where no one knows my face, my place, or my chase. Each step that I’ve taken lately has pointed me in a downward spiral, to where nothing can be resolved easily. I need to forget, regret, and quit running an upset. 

Song flowing through my head: 
Title: Runaway
Artist: Joe Brooks
Album: World at Our Feet

Everything still doesn’t make sense. I miss you, miss you more than you know; yet I still don’t know where my heart is taking me. I wonder and wait, wait and listen, and think my mind to nothing. It seems as if nothing will come true, but who am I to say? Short and not-so-sweet, but I can’t find the words.

Song flowing through my head: 
Title: Trust Me
Artist: The Fray
Album: How to Save a Life

Remorse, and regret, I replay the scenes back in my head. From the time when I wondered, to the time that I knew, and when you told me three hours long. I want to be happy with it, and with you too, but something pulls me in either direction. I want to hold onto the distance, but something tells me to give up, and give in, for it’s not true; the other tells me that I should give in to you. I wish I knew, and I wish I could say, but watching you fall in love with someone else has left me in dismay. I don’t want to hear that we’re better off friends, but then again, I need to move on. You’ve told me thrice, and I’ve yet to believe it, and even though their might or may not be something there, I continue to hold on to nothing. 

Song flowing through my head: 
Title: Next Time
Artist: Way with Words
Album: Way with Words (Self-Titled)

Everything keeps piling up on a shelf, a shelf that I leave to rot in it’s own crumbling dust. I’ve taken on too much, and it shows that I’m slowly breaking down. Weight on my shoulders keep pushing me to a breaking point. I just want to lay here, stare at the cracks on the ceiling, and wish for a better tomorrow. The way I think is altered, and the friends I had have changed. Unreliable, unrealistic, and uncaring: the list could go on and on. I doubt you’re telling the truth, and I doubt that you haven’t checked your phone for the past eight hours. Why must everything sink me down?

Song flowing through my head:
Title: Over My Head (Cable Car)
Artist: The Fray
Album: How to Save a Life

 Everything just keeps my head spinning in a constant whirlpool of fits. I’m swooning over him, for what I suppose is an eternity, yet the next I’m cursing his very name. Each second of this uncertainty unnerves me, and throws my conscious towards a rage of despair. I love him, don’t I? I said I did, but this waiting game seems like a toss-up, between who will go the distance. Every word you said during the beginning gave me that instant butterfly twinge, and shot sparks through my heart, but now it’s just words on a screen that don’t turn to anything. I hope you don’t see this, and I pray it works. It’s hard to wait around for something that you know might never happen, but it’s even harder to give up when you think it’s everything you’ve ever wanted.

Song flowing through my head:
Title: Dare for Distance
Artist: Never Shout Never
Album: Yippee! [EP]